NEWS
Judge Fined Leavitt $100K for Insulting Biden, 7 Minutes Later, Bondi Cuffed Him
Judge Fined Leavitt $100K for Insulting Biden, 7 Minutes Later, Bondi Cuffed Him
**Judge Fined Leavitt $100K for Insulting Biden, 7 Minutes Later, Bondi Cuffed Him**
*Washington, D.C. – In a courtroom twist that has legal scholars scratching their heads and meme-makers rejoicing, Judge Harmon P. Elbridge shocked the nation Tuesday by slapping political commentator Leavitt Cross with a $100,000 fine for “blatant disrespect” after Cross called President Biden a “whispering fossil with sunglasses.”*
According to stunned onlookers, Judge Elbridge paused mid-ruling to glare over his bifocals and declared, “Freedom of speech has limits, especially when it’s not flattering.”
Cross, known for his fiery takes and questionable blazer choices, responded with a dramatic slow clap and the words, “Nice to see the First Amendment has a price tag.”
Exactly seven minutes and two eye-rolls later, former Florida Attorney General Pam Bondi – who was coincidentally attending the trial as a “curious citizen” – leapt from her seat, pulled out a pair of handcuffs from her purse, and restrained Cross with the precision of a seasoned federal agent.
“I couldn’t sit there and let America be mocked,” Bondi said, while flipping her badge, which hasn’t been valid since 2019. “Justice needed a woman’s touch.”
Legal experts are divided. Some claim the entire event was an elaborate performance art piece titled *”The Constitution: LOL”*, while others say it’s just Tuesday in 2025.
President Biden, when asked about the incident, reportedly whispered, “Leavitt who?” before offering a Werther’s Original to a passing reporter.
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